When I was little, my best friend was a girl who had been adopted from Korea. I thought this was fascinating and that she was beautiful. I wanted to be adopted, too. I wanted to have a heritage to celebrate. When I was ten, we moved into a school district that had a large Jewish population. Once again, the strong sense of culture and, more than that, the sense of belonging to something enthralled me.
These experiences made me very aware that I was in the majority. I was common and ordinary and not that interesting. My heritage is Pennsylvania Dutch, but it seemed like everyone around me was at least a little bit PA Dutch. I didn't have any sense of a culture distinctively my own. I was just American. I was jealous of anyone who could say there were African American, Korean American, Italian, Jewish or anything that meant belonging to a bigger group.
Slowly, as I became more aware of how the world worked and how I was treated because I belonged to that boring majority, I began to feel guilty. While I know that my Germanic ancestors suffered persecution, it was not to the same scale that African Americans or Jews have suffered. And today, beyond the fact that I am a woman, there is nothing about my appearance or my name that would cause discrimination (in the United States).
I think part of my reason for choosing the Gambia for study abroad was to experience being a minority. I thought that being white in Africa would give me a taste of being a minority in America.
That was an incredibly foolish thought. It's true that many of the taxi drivers or sellers at the craft markets will attempt to sell me things at a greatly inflated rate, however this is because they believe I am a tourist and therefore someone with a lot of money (and who is unfamiliar with its value). While it is the color of my skin which makes locals think I am a tourist, I believe that if I were black, I would be treated exactly the same - once they figured out I was a foreigner.
In a way, however, I think studying in Africa is giving me what I wanted. The fact that I am such an outsider here has made me aware that there is a culture I can call my own. There is a group to which I belong. I've been told by many people that study abroad teaches you more about yourself and your own culture than that of the country you're in. I'm starting to see how true that is.
Even if you're in the majority, you'll always be completely insane, which makes you unique.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great entry. I'm glad you're in Africa. This should be a wonderful semester for you. All of us whiteys (and Vicky) will be waiting for you when you get back.
This is a very interesting piece for me in particular because never before have I met someone who WANTED that experience. I've had days where I wished I had white skin and blue eyes to not have to think or worry about the things I THINK i have to think and worry about.
ReplyDeleteI went to Africa for the complete opposite reason. African Americans--not all, but most who have caribbean descentry-- see Africa as the "motherland" despite it's history and it's current state.
So in essence, I went to Africa because I didn't want to go somewhere that made me think about my skin and this takes away most if not all of the available study abroad places, and besides I do this often at home (US) anyway.
I plan to retire in Africa once I'm ready for retirement.
ENOUGH SAID, I reccomend going to TIM-BOOK-TOO and visiting the restaurant/art gallery place that's around there, it's GOREGEOUS--take care and fun for the both of us.